Many sights and sounds heighten the senses during high school basketball tournament week. The bands blare out the school song…how many schools in this year’s tournament borrowed The University of Wisconsin’s as their anthem? Cheerleaders get the crowd fired up. The smell of freshly popped popcorn strike the olfactory nerves. Fans cheer on their hometown teams and sometimes act as amateur officials, thinking the men and women in stripes have it out for their favorite squads. This, despite most of those in the crowd hollering “three seconds” have no clue as to the correct application of the rule.
The arena takes on a different feel between sessions. The frenzy is replaced by an eerie quiet. Spend some time at floor level following most tourney games and you’re likely to see a different scene. A number of participants, who moments earlier battled their hearts out, peek out slowly from the dressing rooms in the back corridor. For one team, the season has come to a crashing end and it hurts, really bad. Many of the players come out with reddened faces, tears streaming down their cheeks. Hugs are offered to help soothe the pain, which is all too real.
When I first started attending tournament games in the mid-1980’s, you might see this scenario take place outside the girls locker room. After all, girls tend to be the more sensitive, emotional gender, so the stereotype left many to believe. These days, boys are just as likely to be overcome with emotion following a tough tournament loss. Yes, these tough on the exterior boys, who wouldn’t dare hug their mommas with friends anywhere in sight, are often seen with puddles welling up in their eyes. Having been involved with high school athletics throughout most of my life, generally speaking, I’ve noticed a major change in the boys of today than in my generation. They are much more likely to tell their friends how much they love them and show that affection without anyone thinking it strange. And that’s a good thing.
So boys and girls…it’s okay to cry. After all, the shortest verse in the Bible from John’s gospel chapter 11, verse 35, says that “Jesus wept”. Now, the word of Jesus’ brother, Lazarus, passing is certainly more of a grave matter than the loss of a basketball game. However, if it is acceptable for the God of this universe to show His humanity by weeping, so too is it okay for us to do the same.
Admittedly, I have struggled to find the right context in which to place athletics over the years. I cringe at the notion that “basketball is life” and the often obsessive behavior that results. At the same time to have such a flippant view of being “just a game” fails to celebrate the time and effort put forth by those involved. I still search for that perfect perspective and probably always will.
Many reading this may have a passive relationship with the game of basketball. Your extent of following the game may involve attending a few tournament games per year, perhaps because you have a friend or family member playing. You may wonder…with all the tragedy in the world, why are so many players openly crying at the end of a basketball game? Understand, most of the outstanding players on really good tournament teams are not like you or I. They are competitive to a level most of us will never fully grasp. Yes, those who compete in the annual tournament love to play basketball. For those playing at the highest level, they not only love to play but more importantly for them love to win. It is precisely because of that love, emotions are expressed the way they are.
For those in the “it’s just a game” camp, let’s take a moment to realize why players are so overcome with emotion following a season ending loss. When teams lose in the tournament, they are not just losing a basketball game. It marks the end of a collective pursuit. What most of us never witness are the countless hours spent alone in the driveway, working on their craft, starting at a very young age. During the summer, while their friends are soaking in rays at the beach, they can often be found in a hot, sweaty gym somewhere, preparing for the upcoming season. Players don’t put in that time and effort over a lifetime to lose.
There are those special moments along the way, moments which transcend basketball. The team dinners, the long bus trips, performing in front of thousands of community members, and so many other aspects of the high school basketball experience can never be replicated. Sure, high school athletics should never be the highlight of one’s life. Having gotten to know a number of outstanding young people, many will accomplish far greater things later in life. As much as most of these student-athletes will achieve successes far beyond the high school gym, regardless of what they accomplish, it most likely never will be that. Few careers, no matter how prestigious and noble, or regardless of how much we enjoy our life’s work, offer the adrenaline rush of competing on the grandest stage in front of thousands of fans.
Never again, will these young men and women have the opportunity to compete alongside people who become like brothers and sisters, all striving in unison to attain a championship. What makes it so hard that deep inside, while they may not express it in words at the time, they know it.
When you are young, you feel as if time stands stills. For athletes, a great part of your identity lies with being an athlete. Basketball becomes such a part of your life, who you are, you can never imagine life without it. Then, all of a sudden, the final buzzer sounds, and just like that, in a day you thought would never arrive, it’s over. The finality of it all hurts and it hurts bad.
So players, never feel ashamed for letting your emotions out and allowing the tears to flow in the wake of a season ending loss. It’s more than okay.
